A Logical overload is a lot worse than Rain

There is a slight chance that when things happen they are really meant to be. Long nights of utter solace, short days of pleasant company, or even to the extent that when it seems to rain it always seems to pour.

Today is the day after yesterday and I must say quite a day it had been yesterday. I realized something not so profound yet uniquely deep. The fact remains that at the end of the day you are the only one who really cares about you and that's the way it should be. The whole art of self sustenance is only enhanced by your ability to stay distinctly mono-causal. And in this sense it makes sense to really just be (in the conventional sense of the word) selfish.

My closest friend in Mars is an inanimate object with six strings and a whole lot of noise. Ironically my Hobbes too comes with the same cynical care that I think is essential for every Calvin. The major distinction lies in the fact that my Hobbes is really my doing. She plays the tunes I want to hear and also the mistakes I often don't. It comes to me as a sense of her looking out for me .. But I know in reality its just me being mono-causal.

I think I am kicking in again after weeks of trying not to let myself go back to what I was. Its time for the carapace and all that is me to go into words for others to see. Writing myself on a blank screen while I cream of the walls of this reality is really the best way to imprint my being onto anyone place in which I can recollect who I really am. That aside it feels a lot easier to type than talk really.

The hermit crab ..... When he chanced upon a new shell to climb into

Hit me maybe ... ok just one more time

So Virgo girls like it all ... Capricon men have the tenacity of a plunger and the attitude of a dried work bench.. while piceans are gods of love who are hung (HUUUUUUUNG) up on all the right things of passions and love.

It was the greatest prediction of the most knowledgeable star reader namely the world wide web and wikipedia..how could i ever disagree ..... So what is it about the stars that reaches out to the millions (+ 1 since i have no reason not to belive in them). I think it lies in the fact that they are out of reach really ... If we could explain the stars completely we would never have had timeless rock classics like 'Twinkle Twinkle little star' and 'Staring at the sun'.

So what draws people towards the ever essential goals of realtionships? Is the natural need to procreate (though i would like to believe that humans have moved on from that a long time ago), or the need to just be wanted and to a certain extent want? Maybe it lies in the fact that we just like the feeling of having something exciting in our lives (given the fact that most relationships are heavily based on the true facts and events of most soap operas and ritualistic movies). What ever it is its really strange .. as spring comes full bloom we cant help ourselves in the true pursuit of loveeeeeeeeeee.. no matter how overrated it may be.

As for me i thin the pastures on the other side remain green, but i dont quite want to step in there at this time ... its better to be a carnivore and single at the moment for obvious reasons .. you can only fish when there is a hook that is empty and lots of bait with nothing to lose.

The Prince of Persia when he gave up on getting Farrah

Sally can wait and look back in anger

Yet another stellar concert that was not be... This time in the desert that is Mars it was an oasis I went to see ..Ironically there was concert concert everywhere but not one to be seen ... Liam my man looked like he had stepped out of a really badly grafted British porn flick and his everlasting fascination with things south of the equator really did seem strange until I realized that his zipper was caught rather amazingly in his belt strap. (Amazing but true here is another tale for the Ripley's vault)

A number of amusing things did happen however

a) As I tried to instigate the Martian crowd into an atmosphere of rock, I stuck out my lighter (which I had managed to get in...Kudos to self) in appreciation of a song none other than wonderwalll.... As I jarred the light into the then dense air of sullen desperation, a quick and alert security officer who also happened to be a cop rushed towards me as though I had spontaneously combusted or worse helped someone else spontaneously combust and grabbed the damn thing straight out of my hand... He then proceeded to shout something at me which I could not clearly hear as I was indisposed at that moment with a ton of better things to do ..... He made his point clear , that he envied the fact that I had a lighter and he dint and also the fact that I could listen to the music with ease while he had to look out for guys who were trying to have fun and making sure that they dint cause thats the real reason they have concerts in mars so as to create an illusion of fun without actually having any ....

b) Due to a number of unforeseen events especially those of me not having bought my ticket earlier because of the fact that I was utterly broke (note to self : still broke ... Will be so for a while)... I was forced to purchase a ticket that placed me in the seated area of the concert (yeah in mars they have seats in concerts ... No not the floor I mean good seats with drink holders and everything)... Thus as a matter of rule no one was allowed to stand during the concert ... Not very many of us there followed this rule ..Except the Martians of course .. And as we stood there watching liam play with his Thang, the cops were again dispatched to send us packing back to our seats .... The rebel in me saw this sign of authority as something that was utterly wrong ... (even though I wouldnt have really cared cause I was tired of the lousy show anyway)... Quite like Mel Gibson in brave heart I said out loud "They can take my lighter but they will never take my postureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"... In a blink of an eye I was lifted by my waist ... Wait let me correct that by the back of my pants (which resulted in the meanest wedgy I had ever received in me life) and ushered in the most ruthless manner to my seat ..Which happened to be two isles away ... ohh the horror ohh the pain ..ohh the jobless cop ...(note to self : put on some weight).. For the record the cops gave up on us after a while when the whole cohort saw the ruthlessness of the situation... I would like to consider myself a martyr now .... A martyr with a bruised B@*L

c)Last but not the least I met my Norwegian wood ...In more ways than one lets keep it that for now shall we ..

So what is the moral of the story???

Never overpay to stand and watch a guy play with his Thang with a lighter in hand and hopes in your hood .... cause at the end of the day all you have are a pair of concert tickets, a bruise and a pack of smokes with no way to light them.....

Sophie...when someone had already made the choice for her

Craters make good couch potatoes

The buzzing has stopped. The chainsaw is in Texas. The only thing revolving is the world and I cant feel it all that much. Coffee tastes like coffee. I think I am sober again, or as sober as I will ever allow myself to ever be.

28 hours later and its almost like I have woken up from a dream. I look around and all that was familiar is back to being familiar again. The couch has enough space to sit, and the mind has enough space to listen. I am fully formatted and defragmented into this "reality" I apparently live in.

Somethings never change though for one its my innate ability to find everything in the world funny. Cynical and critical, thats the way the world stops spinning around you. If for one second you were to stop being so, the boundaries form and you are cornered into a whole sphere of action and consequences.

But today the world is funny. Here are a few melodramatic yet amazingly hilarious instances;
a) People were watching American Idol
b) People were watching reruns of American Idol
c) Sarcasm was misheard as concern
d) Baby fell off chair while trying to reach out and grab a waiters napkin (OCDs lead to pain)
e) Baby fell off ground trying to climb back onto the chair (Metaphysics at work here)
f) Mexican food tasted Indian (globalization)
g) People still watching American Idol (effect of pop culture in insinuating boredom)
h) American Idol watching people (now thats just weird.... note to self .. stop drinking)
I) Personal messages of inner reflection on a public domain (Internet privacy .... queer but novel)
j)Fly on the wall splattered by an incoming tennis ball from the next room (Luck)
k) Retrospect leading to hindsight .... (not necessarily in that order ... same difference really)
l) The real reason for the grin across my face (True functioning of the sympathetic nervous system)

I really cant help it today. I sit here on the largest crater on Mars and looking around me all I see are 8mm films in technicolor ... each with their script, plot and players ... some oscar potentials, some just chick flicks and some just badly written teen movies. They all have one thing in common though they are real ... or as real as I may allow them to be

So what does really happen in these craters. Look around you and I think if you try just a little the whole planet is just one large dent and you are smack dab in the middle of it. Tint or chrome its your choice but I dont think your personal insurance will cover it.....

Laurel when he decided that it was time he was fool Hardy

Irish cream and beer

The true test of a writer is in his writings when he is not in control of his thoughs. A lot of alcohol down and i think i am not better at this today..(judging for a number of backspaces pushed in the one sentence i have written thus far). Today is not about any one particular thing in me life rather its gonna be about the nice time i had today.. rather an anecdote of what i had today ....
One of my friends grew older today and we had really strained ourselves to see the surprise on his face when we shocked him with our sudden entry into this house.... it was great and after that we went on to have a few beers ... i confess ... i went on to have a lot of beer and we got talking and we decided to test ourselves with the triva of the number of english movie titles we could contort into what could potentially be porn movie insignias here are a few for today;
a) Eight thonged freaks
b) How to fuse a guy in ten minutes
c)Ramboned
d) The term i ate her (terminator)
e)Something about fairies
f)Sire another day
g) Sir in Anna
h)Schindler's fist
i)Ten things i ate about her
j)Volcan hoe

we were jobless but it felt so good to be so in the last semester of college ... i have to admit that after all that i have been through this semester this is exactly what i needed ..... we were further from broke back mountain that one could possibly imagine ... it was just us being men .. and its sooo much fun .... for all you out there try it ..... it just might be the best time you ahve ever had...

Carmen electra ... when she retired from rockstar inxs .......

A studio of my own .. for a day atleast

For the past three weeks I have been smack dab in the middle of the world, surrounded by the general populous of and the few who seem to stick out a bit more in the scheme of things. But today for the first time in a long time I am truly alone.

The lights have been dimmed, the curtains drawn, the room set at a comfortable 16 degrees and a bottle of fine Bordeux cuddling next to me in utter bliss. The tv has shifted rooms and the music blares at a descent level of loudness. Everything is going all right.

It really gets me thinking that being alone isnt really all that bad. Not that I am trying to justify my stance at the present moment, but one has to really consider the true bliss that comes with having to do nothing for a whole twenty four hours. Today has been the longest good day in mars. Though the bustle of life continued outside, the carapace that is my room has insulated me into absolute hibernation. People try to get away from it all their lives, as for me, i am one who has always tried never to be in it in the first place. But for the first time i have actually felt the true essence of what they seek. Nirvana .... well i dont know about that. But Kurt Cobain now that i can relate to. Ironically the radio plays About a girl ....

Ever wondered why its easier to express oneself when no one is around. When the world is black and the only person listening to you is you. I think the reason lies in the fact that we are most comfortable with silence. When we are alone we converse in whispers which are seldom not spoken but just heard. There is nothing lost in translation and nothing to be lost in the probable slip between the cup and the lip. I have had so much to say to myself, but i used to consider them rantings before... Today i ranted for a long long time and things finally made sense to me. Call it a personal detox, I have now rid myself of all the schizophrenia i have had for soo long.

Well im lying! Im still schizophrenic and i dont think i ever want to lose that side of me. My best friends are in my head, they have been with me for so long i dont think i can be me without the other part of me. Ironically the radio plays Dark side of the moon

Fight night and Martian Jack

I have had a poker face on for the past three weeks and all this while i was in a game of blackjack. It worked for the first two weeks but then the obvious stern look seemed a bit out of place. "Ok here is the game plan" i said to myself, "Keep it going as long as you can and if you being to falter, dont expect anything just bolt for the roulette table and shout this man has a magnet in his hands."
I broke the first rule i allowed myself to expect. And as luck should have it the dealer was on the money and by the looks of things i have started to lose. Lose big time, the queen of hearts now stamps the deal shut i am not only in debt but i had started being in debt with the stupid poker face on.
Note to self "Take that constipated look off your face" . RSVP to note to self "I cant it seems to be stuck." Another note to self in reply to RSVP, "Run for the roulette tables." RSVP to note to RSVP, "OK!"....
Eventually i left the table, while i distracted the dealer with the whole look there is a whale on the stage trying to play elvis ... and as i ran towards the roulette table i was struck by a sudden cross wind .... straight from the ac ducts of my head all across the vents of where my heart used to be.
The poker face vanished and in its place the smirk had returned, i turned back to where i had left the bedazzled dealer and gulped all that i had lost in one large swallow (with some help from my friend corona) stepped up to the dealer and said HIT ME
It was an ace and a jack ... Blackjack ... and this time i had not placed a bet i won nothing but the satisfaction of knowing that chance had not given up on me.
I no longer needed the dealer or the game for now i was done with the gamble.
Phasers on full, shields up , aye aye captain, the fortress is ready, the moat is full and the draw bridge is up ..... and the volley of arrows ready .... FIRE FIRE FIRE
The dealer burns in a distance and the casino falls into ashes .... My job here is done .. no more expectation, no more care just a hard cased sharpnel wound tight enough to blow when needed
Im back and nothing is gonna SNATCH that away from me Not even a LOCK STOCK and TWO SMOKING BARRELS

Bond James Bond (Casino Royale aint royalty no more)

Martians R us

Days on Mars seem to last forever, especially when they are littered by red hearts all through the premium district which leads me to the place of my learning. I dont laothe hearts, just dont like to be reminded of the fact that being non shalant most often than not does not help in appreciating hearts.
Anyway thats done with i hope, tomorrow normality returns to the streets and all goes back to normal, or does it? A lot of things have changed today, for example I am a day older and along with that i think i have aged more than two years. I figure at this rate I shall be old and wise in a week. Its really just exponential! You start at the base and then shoot up to the extent where you realize that what you were before is just a log of what you are now.
I have a paper due tomorrow, something dealing with worldly attributes to the context of why there are so many people who are worse off than so many of us today in the world. Well as deep as that sounds its really not that complex. Its funny how we all write and think about all this and some of us really do something about it but at the end of the day its all just a shot at something we know ourselves we cannot achieve. But look at the bright side atleast we tried dint we.
Today i shall not talk about Martians, rather lets talk about Non Martians for once. I like the fact that i am not from around here but you have to agree i also seem a lot more cynical and morose than a lot of the martians. Its not really because i am lacking something specific in life but that i choose to be an arm chair critic. We are a lot like Martians ourselves really, we too look for the easy way out. Case and point i would rather sit and write this blog, instead of doing something about the present state of my shack.
Easy things come easy but the problem lies in the fact that the consequence of ease is really painful. Non shalantism if i may call it so is really the best way out of a momentary situation, but what happens when you are alone and there is no need to be non shalant? When you cant help but be non shalant even in situations you want to be something otherwise.
Today i realized that i dont have esp, that i am not able to read all that is unsaid, i used to believe that i had it all figured out, its because it was easy to be in that state. Erasmus had an easy life he knew it all. Nostradumbass too had a great time. But me ? Well faking it is hard and when people think and assume that you know all the pickle thickens. Thats when they expect and when they expect they are let down.
Im not here to prove that i am special infact its easier not to be special that way people dont expect. Im schizophrenic really, while the non martian in me writes tales of what are and what they really should be, the martian in me lays waiting for the moments when i am contemplative of myself. I really dont like the martian in me, its easier to not be me than to be me.
The guard is down but its a double edged sword encompassed by an invisible shield. Come too close and you will be frescoed into my hall of shame.
I am atlas and i just shrugged deal with it

Confessions of a Non Martian, Im Sigmond Nobody et tu?

Martian Hours ... How quickly they learn to fly

The ironic thing about moments is that you wait for it the whole day and it passes in the blink of an eye. I guess the real charm lies in the fact that these were not mean to stick, or the fact that even if they did stick they stick only in the whole scheme of being short, unique and ultimately sudden.
Martian hours are not that different actually, in the dead of the night when all else seems to be stuck in its own sense of time, you feel like you are in a blackhole of sorts. I think the reason the nighttime is dark is so that our fears can be multiplied and exaggerated to a distinct point upon which we just decide not to think anymore.
Black Monday it is indeed, five hours and ten minutes into it and it almost feels as though there is not enough night left to last the rest of the day. But then there are those moments, the light twitches and the shadows move and then all you can think off is nothing.
If at all i like anything in Mars, it has to be these moments and their utter lack of significance to anything that would remotely be me.
Its however an appropriate time to think of what martians might do in these moments. Case 1: Dark room with Martian and a Television on Mtv, Martian thinks "EEy how like that they only play old old type of music wan when i want to hear to the fifty cents." Martian blinks "EEy i think i have Espn or something because now the VJ play fifty cents already", Martian thinks some more "EEy if like that then i can also pray pray that i get to listen to some Brue and some Boyzone and then the Tv will pray it for me." Television thinks, "What have I gotten myself into this time." Moment passes.....
Case 2: Martian in a dark room listening to music. Martian thinks "I think that I know that I want to go to sleep already, Because tomorrow i have a long day, Walao this class participation thing is so jala wan." Martian Blinks, "Wah! so cool aaa tomorrow no school, because i think i call in an mc." Martian gets a sudden fit of ethics, "Aye cannot bunk already, I don think the system pay for me to be a slacker." Martian alarm clock and Music think in unison "what have we gotten ourselves into this time." Moment passes
Case 3: Non Martian in a dark room listening to nothing and staring at the ceiling fan that does not work but rather has a peculiar creak. Non Martian thinks, "Man i need to get stoned", Non Martian blinks, "Man i still need to get stoned", Non Martian has a sudden case of hyperactive insomnia, "Man screw all this i think i just need a red bull and a light." The fan thinks to itself "man what have i gotten myself into this time and why is it that I have to creak damn i dont like this at all shut me off you moron and get some sleep."Moment passes
The world has a lot of different faces but i still think it has something in common, House hold appliances that are most obviously too cynical for thier own well being and moments that are too short to really mean anything but end up sticking in your head all night long.
I need a moment now .... it passed i dint catch it well let me bait again while the prospects of another day dawn upon me in this circle of school days (I wouldnt want to be anywhere else really)

Kilroy When he decided to stay at one place for more than a moment
Ps: I think tomorrow i shall fix my Fan

Matian Medians are Skewed

I think the martian who coined Valentines day got it right. Think about it, for the all the Vday hopefulls out there who have someone special its a great way to spend their money (case and point someone is finally able to milk profits out of love) and for those who have no one, well there are two kinds there really; first the ones who are hypertypically single (tried and tired again but are now celebate) and the ones who have someone special in mind and has mustered up enough courage to finally ask that special someone out its still a fruitful way of spending their money. The beauty of Valentines day is that fact that now you are able to profit from people who are in any of the three positions. Look at Mars go redder than usual this week, people buying gifts and people planning how to spend the specified night of loneliness (not so obvious to them is that fact that all nights termed or not are equally lonely) and then there are the few who buy gifts in order to prospect what the future holds for them. Being an economist myself (i like to call myself that) its a great way for the economy to fruit from something as over played and often over stated as love.
An analogy to valentines day is the basic concept of social giving. Altruism they call it these days cause its allways more legitimate if it has a fancy multi-syllable taxonomy under its belt. Social giving is the best way for somebody who has not much to make much from someone who has much. I dont mean to sound crude or cynical or even unsympathetic, but you have to wonder if social giving is really giving. If you have made soo much that you can afford to give, does it not make sense then to stop what you are doing. What this would do is give someone else a chance to make the sooo much more than you are making. I know it sounds radical but think about it, voulantary retirement for anyone who has enough to give. A bit socialist in outlook i would say, but it does make logical sense. Utilitarianism has never failed and to prove this point lets study another scenario. Imagine a single mens loo in a heavily crowded shopping mall. The mall has no way of building another mens loo so as to solve the congestion problem in the current loo. The answer to this solution really lies in utilitarianism. You really need to get more people into the loo at a given time and then get them out as soon as possible so that the next batch can really empty their lead. A capitalist would say .. "Charge the people to use the loo for a specified amount of time, this way you could regulate time taken as well as generate a revenue so as to build a new loo in the future." Heres a unique solution to the problem, and the solution really lies deep rooted in the male psychi. All the mall needs to do is install more urinals in the loo closer together. This is far cheaper than building a new loo. The closer the urinals are to each other (with enough space for decency/ anti spillage installations), the lesser time each man would take in his quest to dry his oasis. This is because a) its really weird to be too long in a place where another man can see your family jewels, especially when you are amidst hostile ejection procedures b)The closer the loos are together, the less space you have to own the pee, with less hand stretches and lesser prolongated sighs you leave the place of business behind you as soon as possible and venture out into what you really set out to do in the first place.
This is enspired purely from the ideas of utilitarianism and to the extent socialism and it seems to work. Take this case as a analogy to any situation it seems to work. What works best for Valentines day is if you had more of them in greater frequency (with obvious space between to fully let the experience of one die out into absolution). That way we could make more money and Mars would prosper. Why start a week before valentines day when you can start a year in advance.

Kafkka on his analysis of Marxist love

Martians and Murphy

Murphy was wrong in being right really, for if he was right he would be wrong in the first place. But then again I think Murphy was pretty close to being right. Atleast here in Mars we see the most probable cause of why the toast always lands on the buttered side and why most often than not it takes all to make the world and you end up with all the alls.
I think the case of goodwill and luck is highly over rated, I do accept that the possible reasons for this lie in that fact that Martians love a good scapegoat. Lets be fair don't we all. Here is how a humble non alien sees it, if we stopped complaining then the fun of failing would be stripped off from the shelf and we would all hate to fail. But what most of all don't really realize is that failing is fun, when else can you indulge in a big scoop of self pity that is drenched in a shallow sense that you did not put in the effort and it was worth it. If the world was stripped of failure then doing well just wouldn't cut it anymore would it? It is easier to be in the shallower end of the gene pool really, atleast then you have probable cause for people not to expect things from you. Free from the burden of expectation you can then proceed to manifest your life in what would otherwise be classified as something that lets people down. If people don't expect then people are not let down. If people are not let down then you can basically live as though life was one big game of Calvin ball.
Wake up all you Martians out there, we have something similar in the real world, they are all sheep, ask the kiwi im sure the scrawny little bird knows all about the quadruped which sits around all day eating grass and churning out hair which they eventually end up processing into insulating vests which are in reality really itchy and uncomfortable.
Today Mars was warm, warm enough to actually question the point of having three moons if the only night you ever see in every four years. The people of mars center themselves around this analogy. They live their lives focused on goals. Goals, each on some skewed orbit that moves all around the place in a pattern that ensures that it is just out of reach. Martians are all stuck in one large inconvenience store. Trying to reach the suds that are placed right next to the duds in the shelf that is beyond that reach of the tallest pair of stilts (of which exactly two exist in the whole planet).
Its time for me to jump of this planet and as I place my thumb out into the thin air, I once again fail to catch 22 and all I am stuck with is a dilapidated sense of something that is going drastically wrong. As everything is illuminated and all bad things are good for me I must say I am still struggling with the meaning of 42. As I propound on this extremely complicated algorithm (whilst flunking the real math exam) , I step on the most profound discovery yet. There is always time to change because there is so much time especially when you are extremely bored and pointless. I have decided that counting sheep just don cut it anymore, instead from today I shall take a greater and more moral stance in life, whereby I shall count Martians instead. Look at the progress I have made, I have moved from quadrupeds to Bipeds, who still wear insulating vests two degrees north of the equator.

Hobbes to Calvin when Calvin published his Hiku
"Art is often not appreciated enough, even if the creator is always on the right."