PDA check, Job Hunt check, Step towards getting organized ...... Pending

Where do I begin to tell a story of how greater life can be, a story of where life begins at eight thirty.

Sigmond has a father (no really he does), and Sigmonds father who has for most been a down to earth man gives him a PDA that's worth more than all of Sigmonds guitars put together. Besides the fact that Picasso would find this more bizarre than the screaming man ... The situation really gets me thinking about the subtle hints and reactions behind harmless handouts. So here are a few that this frigid mind could think off in the wee hours of a Monday.

1)Expensive PDA - (hint) Transcends to get a job that eventually pays that much ... or else hawk the damn thing and scrape a living either way son you aint on the wishlist anymore. (Note to self - erase underpressure and another one bites the dust from daily playlist) . (Reaction)Wooo hoo now this is what im talking about (completely oblivious of the fact that I am a jobless graduate)

2)Music Cd that come in twos - a)(Reaction) What the hell did you do now .. wheres my cat? (you silently wipe the dirt off your hands and clean the rear wheels of your ride). b) (Reaction)Im sorry but the toll gate to my pants have a cut off at three cds (you think to yourself wtf!!... and refrain from asking the conversion rate to dvds) c) (Hint) I know that some special day is on the horizon and the cds were on sale, so putting two and three together the eventual 2 cd gift is a gift for someone as well as your wallet.

3)Expensive birthday gift - (hint) Buddy the rules of gift poker state that you either match the gift or better it (Its a commonly used ploy but can be quickly be used as an expectation burn where the gift bearer expects but then ends up with a loaf of bread). (Reaction) Now that's what im talking about (do a quick mental calculation of how close the persons birthday is and then depreciate value and invariably it is almost as expensive as a loaf of bread ... Depreciation rates are subjective to time and cost).

4)Man G strings - (Hint) I read it in cosmo and our sex life is at an all time low. (Reaction) Wtf, (quick images of drag queens flash before your eyes) Thanks I think (Priscilla Priscilla ! No no Carmen Electra, Angelina Joli!) We need to talk ( Thinking of the best exit strategy... the main door, email, phone or airticket to Uzbekistan?).

5) A good book -(Hint) Your boring and you need to buck up the reading for conversation sake really im tired of fashion and gossip and the bachelor. (Reaction) Dribble ! Hold it upside down! and act as stupid as possible (if you are smart) act naturally (if you are not) and then start reading during alone time with person to make them regret the choice. Also point out the utter excitement and happiness you find in videogames (If this doesn't work ... jetstar asia has budget tickets to the former USSR)

So the next time someone gives you a gift or a handout, think about the consequences very closely... never do the following

a)Not accept the gift (Re-use Re-use Re-use)
b)Tear the gift wrapping in any way (Re-use Re-use Re-use ... it also helps save the environment if you Re-use)
c)Try it on for size instantly (First you dont want the person to see that the choice was an obvious mismatch and second of all its too much effort, save it for when you really have the time)
d)Hint that you have something of greater or equal value in mind as a return gift (The mind is fickle and trust me at the end of the day there is a lot of beer and smokes that money can buy).

Keep these in mind and happy accepting and an even happier giving

Madmax giving Tina her new wig

X Men, Women and Its

Mutants Mutants everywhere and not one of them are cool,
Why oh why do muntants think mankind is theirs to fool.
We don't like them no we don't yet we talk of peace,
Why don't we just nuke them all and then live in ease.
But no! Compassion and other things make us ooh so mighty,
They have fire and steel claws and that should be not taken lightly.
Magneto has a will of steel it seems to often bend his way,
But I think we have eyes in the rear, or so our hindsight clearly says.
So what of these wars they fight with graphics and stunts and all,
Come live with me, and see it unfold the truth be told in free fall.
If mutants were to be killed there would be not much to do,
If I cant swat one every now and then I would then stick to being a shrew.

So after a whole two hours of the last stand, I got down to some heavy thinking about where we stand with this whole xmen thing.... and I realized that when it comes to time retire the xmen would still have such fascinating and exciting lives as.................

Wolverine - Lawnman and second in command in Edward scissor hands and co
Ice man - the Local kopitiam was just where he wanted to be "Wan ice or not??"
Pyro - our veryy own tandoori guy .. grill , microwave, bake u name it he burn it.
Angel - our very own budget airlines
The octopus (the guy who can grow his arms back) - The perfect candidate to teach the Bluth family a much deserved lesson.
Steel - Governor of California
Magneto - Bridge and metal relocation specialist
Mystique - Victoria Secret ... Definitely!!!! no questions asked (back back shes mine shes mine)

Anyway that's all I can think off right now so I think I shall sign of ... for the record I wrote all this with my mind ..... da da da .. da da da ...

Sigmond turning into something blue

Home is where the heart used to be... Now its just me here

So its been ages since i last posted and a lot of that had to do with the fact that a lot of things were seemingly falling apart around me. First my computer transcended the realm of the physical and took flight into what i can only imagine is the pearly white gates of computer heaven. While it lay comatose on my couch i wondered what to do with it and sure enough you cant bring something that is in comatose back to functional form by hitting or prodding it. I should have known cause if it were possible not only would i have a computer but think of all those hospital beds we could free up !

Being back in India is not that bad really, it takes a few hours to adjust to the grime the noise and the worst disaster of all, the slow internet speeds, but after that it all seems to culminate into something that is more nostalgic than anything else. Wow a few years ago this was the only home i knew and now its just a disembarkation port for two weeks. I must say i have quite the Alamo of feelings to vent but naaa its just too much work.

So what makes India spiritual to the rest of the world? Being only pseudo non Indian as i am now considered an NRI (non resident Iceman/Indian/Inuendo/incomprehensible cretin/Incognito/Immigrant?) i shall try and figure out the reasons behind this spiritual aura that might or might not be present.

a)Maybe the key to the cherry box lies in the fact that India is so large that somehow everyone else always has a problem thats much larger than yours. Im not talking about individual problems of the self (like constantly touching one self) but the sense that the communities as wholes seem to have something going on, on a much larger scale and this is essence makes you feel like your problem is like a unpopped corn kernl in a whole bag of caramel pop corn waiting to be gourged down by an overweight geek waiting to watch star wars remade in French.

b)Maybe it lies in the fact that India allows for one thing if not anything in the way of drifter. Much as i would like to say that i am indeed a man who faces goliath when i am myself as puny as David ..im not ... the one solace i have in this world is the fact that one can always pick up a backpack and make his way where ever he wishes. Well the beauty of India lies in the fact that getting lost here is pretty easy and getting lost is indeed the best way to find oneself. Take a loook around the number of nooks and street corners one can find here is amazing ... im talking infrastructure people , techincally advanced infrastructure to aid in the losing of oneself and mind you the food is cheap and damn bloody good.

c)The final conquest of reason shall reap itself in the grain of wheat that appears as the reason for India's spiritual being ... its really because we have historicalyl been know to be good at the art of making a complete ass of foreigners. Yeah really we are truly the best in the business. Holy water from the Ganga sold in tetrapacks hmmm sounds fishy but its india people use the holy water for everyday use and thats why to make to more cost effective and efficient we tetrapacked them (yeah most foreigners fall for that one straight hook line and sinker). Oh and who can forget the holy men in india , i mean look at the top exhibitionists in the world and they look pale in comparison to what one indian Sadhu can do (FCUK heres your new calling baby ...true style Vs Fashion), and for the love of god we are the only country to have a guru whose cult practises free sex and ganja but only for foreigners ...man why wouldnt they come in their hordes its in them and all the neccessary evils are all clear and present without the danger.

So anyway as i sign off from this post i reallyhave to say two things ... its good to be back in writing spirit (its a sign to the rest of those people out there who were bogging me down that you guys don mean a fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk) and its good to be back home which ever way you look at it there is nothing better than mindless hindi channels, world space radio and the cool draft of indian beer.

Of Papal inquisitions in Sigmonds holy land