In the end ... it always seems to matter

6000 words, 12 pages of mathematics and a deadline that draws ever so close ..... I should be all nostalgic about my college days and cherish this moment as its the last of my undergraduate toil ... yet I cant get myself to write those 6000 words and do the 12 pages of mathematics. Call it laziness ... I just call it a waste of time.

To top it all off the weather outside is just about right ... its raining, its cool and for the love of all things that are wet I am dry and comfy on the sofa with the right amount of light and just the right flavor of nicotine.

The thought of writing a social science paper doesn't quite fit the mood and more so doesn't quite fit the all encompassing agenda of doing nothing. Am I alone ? I don't think so but the real reason for this stark sense of boredom does arise from the fact that I am flat out broke.....

The curious pink panther in me did look into my bank records to see where I have been spending all my money ...here is how it reads

start of the month $600 (wow the feeling of being rich smell that moolah people its fresh)

1 day down $300 (I hate not living in a society that believes in giving and not taking back and for some reason I owe a few people a lot of money ..... or was it a lot of people some money each... damn these cumulative things catch up.. note to self: Mental math ...Mental math)

2 days down $250 ...(a night of live music and beer ... and all I could say was one more one more just one more....... I have been undone by my kind sense of self giving)

3 days down $150 (somehow new people appear who I seem to owe ... I hate friends I hate them do they always have to be there for me when I need money ..... and remember ... )

4 days down $ 75 (saw a set of really cool guitar things and my baby just needed to be treated .. have to admit the new strings make the music sound so much better)

5 days down $50 (decided that I would not leave the house and just concentrate on saving cash for food ..... but then came the thought of pizza , beer and a movie .... Kudos to self .. I dint leave the house)

6 days down $1.2 (stocked up for the holocaust .... checklist included instant noodles, coke, chips, more instant noodles (I have a thing against monotony) ...and lastly a pack to last me a few days)

7th day$0.05 (and on the seventh day the lord rested and I ate a curry puff)

8th day on -$100 (aaah my friends what would I do without them)

I live in a world with a financial month lasting 8 days and for the rest I body double for the red cross and on the side have a modeling gig where I dress down as the poster child for the Somalian cause (I apologize if that was a tad rude). All in all the only thing I don't think I would ever want to trade is this feeling of being a student .... I don't have to trade but I think its gonna be taken away from me sometime real soon.. ... c'est la vie but for now I think ill just dig into the last pack of noodles I have lying in front of me .

Sigmond nobody ... soon to be Sigmond more of a nobody: Unemployed

Guitarize ....

Just some things i do when i am jobless check it out

http://www.upload2.net/download2/dUvJjsu17NyCfhk/norwegian+wood.mp3.html
http://www.upload2.net/download2/pTq12hspz2jLHLP/blues.mp3.html
http://www.upload2.net/download2/bWMmbnSVRiRd4JL/idle.wav.html

Sigmond

Wise men say ... Only I seem to rush in

Refine the ability to be prompt and what you get is the uncanny knack to be at the right place at the right time always doing the wrong thing. I am certain that three things have been waylaid from my life, a) Mr. Sandman b)Intent and c) timing. I cant seem to sleep, I can never mean anything I say in the way I say it and lastly I have horrible timing when it comes to saying the things I say the way I say it.

That aside I think its all good, other than the fact that I am slowly starting to realize that there is no point in living for the purpose of being. Its easier to live because its somehow a nice thing to be doing now and just now, not one minute from now not days from now but just now.

I have seen a host of people who plan and live for the future in a manner which seems almost as though their lives have already been lived before. What I think touches a nerve is the fact that they almost lose the sense of enjoying where they are now. In light of a better future they always claim the present has to be one of turmoil and hardship and most of all planning.

So what happens when tomorrow becomes today and the future you so planned becomes now, do you really start living for the now then. No! Then comes the case of the future of the future and thus the vicious cycle continues.

The only reason life is a rat race is cause the audience cant help but be a part of the show. I think that sucks.

********************************

Ok I am now truly bored of being critical and looking back at what I have written I think I really do need to stop .... and stop now.

Anyway on a higher note there have been a few cool things happening in mars recently. The odd are indeed in bloom and I have to admit there is a warm fuzzy feeling I get everything I see them suck in the Monday blues and end the week with a Friday sigh.

Lenon said that a working class hero is something to be .... really !!!! Well kudos to the working class heros of the world today and I have to admit there is nothing more dreaded than a desk job wait wait I think there is yeah there is.... no wait there isn't.

Recently we watched in awe as someone we vaguely post present and present, mug shotted her self to a reality tv show in mars. I shall not name the show keeping in line that I might not want to offen people..... Who am I kidding ... it was called a Light Affair.... thats right ladies and gentlemen a reality dating show for martians and non martians alike... A concept that screams out to onlookers that the best way to pimp loneliness and love is to televise it ..... But the show also got me thinking if all these people who look decent on tele cant seem to get dates it doesn't say much for the rest out there who most often than not have a face for radio and a voice for mime.... Like most concepts that seem to have no apparent answer there lies an explanation in the very functioning of mars itself. See mars is wholly socialist when it comes to love ... everyone has one ... the good lookers have good looking compadres , the cute ones have cute ones and the fugly have the fugly and the bugly. Though there maybe cases where the three classes have permutations , these are mostly anomalous (Note to self: Place yourself in a category... and no creating a new bin just for you...damn im one step ahead of myself). Its an amazing sense of dynamics really .... the simple principle of stick to your league has ensured love for all.... huh who would have thunk it ......

Another striking phenomenon in Mars is what we call the escalator theory. It reads, "Couple who are naturally holding hands whilst not on an elevator or escalator ... will switch to a comfortable hug and then squeeze eachother tight till the escalator/elevator reaches it destination upon which handholding shall resume." The theory has been tested by a cohort of dedicated researchers which include myself and me for a while now its been proven to be true. SO much so that the truly advanced society of mars is all accepting of this theory for heterosexual couple and homosexual couples alike .... Wow that what you call good social science huh!!!

Anyway I think I am rambling now so I shall stop and mercy for a dilapidated blog I couldn't help it I need sleep and a sense of timing.

Lime on lsd was so wired

Noir is the new black (Chapter 1: Spy kits and lawnmowers)

It was cold outside, cold and wet. The coldest day in Newshire in decades. Even the weathered overcoat could not keep the sharp nip at bay. The smoke of cigarettes long passed loomed above and the whisky soda lay flat and still. The shutters were drawn and the cold light of day streamed in spurts, sprinkled with a glitter of dust and soot from the fire.

I travel light and so do my friends, one a six string and the other a six shooter. I call me Sigmond, that right! With an 'ond', my parents had always had a tinge of irony in mind. What others know me by I can only guess. Ignorance is bliss.

I've been a singing shooting private eye for as long as I can remember. Cases have come and gone but I have remained. .... The radio clicks with the daily crime bulletins. Nothing new for Newshire a '91' here in the district and a '78A' along the bridge downtown.

It had been months since my last case. So long that I had almost forgotten the glory of being a private eye. It was almost as though the coppers were actually doing their job for once. Good news for tax payers and a scent of chaos and ruin for me. I had always hated the left and their pay hikes. Unionization of the police force .. more like organized tyranny.

I wasn't a man who was much into Horticulture, but I could not help but consider a career in 'Moth cultivation.' My geoshpere lay coy in the left pocket of my pants. No greens just a few pennies and a host of holes.

I'm not one who expects a timely lap dance from fate but, for some reason fate decided to bring along her whole troupe that day.

Her name was Daisy Dowrong. It almost seemed to be a cruel joke, maybe it was... ha. She was far from pretty and reminded me that the man in the skies had a sense of humor. But her skills of persuation were most definitely god sent.

It was a cold case something about a chap named Jack and his petite ami Jill. I was too over the hill to handle these cases, most of which ended with tyre tracks and limepits. I told her my busy schedule had no time to defrost the predicament she faced... I lied but I had to I was too old for this.

"Six thousand now and another six later" is all she said. ... She knew well the rules of poker. Men, money and whiskey, each lost without the other, and money my friend was greener than circumstantial doubt. I said "Yes" and the case was mine.

Miss Dasiy left the room, leaving me with my thoughts and a dossier of facts and fiction for me to decipher. I knew that by the end of it I would be sorry..... I picked up the phone and called Harry, then left the comfort of my den to face the weather....

V for Vende .. who??

Shave my head and call me fascist ... wait a second I am bald and im almost there with the fascism ... hmm sounds familiar .... yes for all those out there I am Natalie Portman in drag and i have all the alliterations to make me a good anti hero behind a mask... given my present god given looks i dont think i even need a mask... ooh let me not bore you with my sermons of slithering slumberous slack while i slight my self to show a serious side of sensibility which might slither through your soul as does slime through the shallows of serenity.... enough of the alliterations i think or should i go on.... (note to self : stop and stop now).. phew that was quite a brain full

I think movies now days are really a bright shining light into what the future holds for us ... as for me i learnt on thing that natalie portman is better at taking a fake interrogation thing than colin fareel (i like to call him that)..... and that there will be a day once more when the great first world countries of the world will be the proclaimed losers muhahahahhaha its not just me with my crystal balls its also nostridumbass who says soo

Yeah !! thats that and i know its been a while since i last posted and the primary reason for that lies in the fact that i have been pondering about what in my four years in mars will stick when i finally get to leave this god forsaken place. Ironically all i could think off were a few songs that i dont think i will ever forget cause they jes happened to be there at the opportune moment and held something in them ... a meaning if you will of something that i will always cherish from my life in university. So here it goes la list a la list

a)With or without you (U2) - cause it reminds me that one can never learn to sing with head phones on and that the irony of the meaning of the title tells me that life goes on even if you give your heart away cause in the end life moves on ... even if you dont

b)Heart shaped box (nirvana) - well cause she did eye me like a pieces and i have the scars to prove it .... and it took me 3 weeks to figure this one out both the chords and the meaning.

c)All apologies (nirvana) - never was able to bastardize a song worse than this and trust me when we sing it we really sing it from our souls ..... and it also taught me that once a voice has cracked let the alto (E)go.

d)Patience (GnR) - always loved to have some never could get some so in the end its just a song with too much meaning

e)Nothing else matters (metallica) - Cause at the end of the day someone out there knows what it means and even if you are reading this and are not that someone its really good to know that at the end of the day nothing else matters cause i dont think the sky will ever fall on our heads ... yes Obelix im sure ..

f)Jeremy (pearl jam) - First song i could actually sing without a guitar along side ...and i have to admit i feel like Jeremy sometimes when the day is gloomy and the nights are warm ...when the beer is flat and the ciggess are nowhere to be seen ... when i am along staring at the ceiling and when i wish i dint have to watch late night tv every night ... when i wish for five extra minutes of sleep and when i dont want to sleep on friday nights ... when everything i say is wrong and when everything i do is worse .. when i want to be there ..and when i am but its no different .. days when i close up like a rock and the days when i open up like a quarry... days when i take the risk and the days i dont regret taking it ... days i wait for a sign and the days when i miss it when its right in front of me ..and for everything i am and everything i can be sometimes

g)Club foot (kasabian) - There is no movie like goal, and there is nothing more important to a lonely life of tv addiction than football ..... oohh yeah and who can forget the chorus its heaven sent

h)Last kiss (pearl jam) - Its just how i deal with things that dint go my way ... a whole load of sarcasm, a huge heed towards the funny and lastly a bullet proof self algorithm for self rationalization.

i)Tiny dancer (elton john) - for the ones who can understand the meaning of this song ... the following is for u " "
Hope you got that. i dint want to fill in the blanks cause a lot will then be lost in translation

j)Wish u ver here (pink floyd) - Hmmm life is always for the hopeful

k)Bitter sweet symphony (verve) - 8:30 in the morning and a math class ... i walk away from it with a sense of accomplishment and as i do i tap myself to the beat and then lift my jeans and do the i dont give a F*ck walk ... man thats true satisfaction .... parting is indeed such sweet sorrow

l) Fever Dog (still waters) - to my neighbors and frnds ...sometimes i gotten get around cause that will be the end of the feeeevvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr dawg

well thats basically the playlist of some of the all time classics of university ..... I shall miss it wholly but what the heck i have a head full of memories (which i might forget), a blog full of sarcasm (which i dont think i want to forget) and playlist that will always be on random ....

I love life random ...et tu?

Chad ... when he realized that his soul was just a circuit made in China

Vocalize

My brain at 6 in the morning ... your boredom forcing you to click on the url... wow the world makes sense again

http://www.yourfilelink.com/get.php?fid=50617 Click here !!! or not

Sigmond

Get back to your seat .... and fix that grammar

So recently I have heard from a number of my readers that my blog is more or less a hazard for the finely tuned readers (who are apparently aces of the english language and more so need punctuation to truly enjoy a good read). Well aside from the red herring of being an ace and not being able to decipher the complex lack of punctuation in my posts, this idea of why I am so sporadic in my writing got me thinking. Tell me Sigmond why ohh what are you so dyslexic in print.

SIgmond thinks and comes up with a few plausible reasons as to why punctuations are not the order of the day

a) Since the dawn of thought (well in my case June 2005) , I have always thought in my head... and for some reason the freeway of neurons that is my brain fails to think in punctuated thoughts. For example I see a really pretty woman sitting across the room .... Sigmonds brain thinks "wow shes really pretty and man besides that I think she is hot." ...should Sigmonds brain really think like this "Wow! She is a really pretty woman. Besides I that, I think she is hot." There is just no time to think in punctuated syntax, it takes too much time toooo much ... cause im sure my brain is bombarded with another quick thought, damn I need to get the ribs cause I hear they make it really really well here. If my thoughts were syntaxed and punctuated I would really not pay much attention to them. Name me one person who wants his/her thoughts to be an edited version of the Daily Tribune.

b)Syntaxing and punctuation is as far away from normality to me as is a sane thought. And if I cant think insane I dont think I will be able to survive in this world. The worst part of living in mars is the fact that most martians like to think sane on their feet. Exclamations and commas would make for a world of black and white where the grey is made so obvious that its not grey anymore. I like my grey muddled with a little green and magenta (ok bordering on really strange colors here ..... think twice ... naa its ok its just for artistic value).

c)The internet was not meant to be grammatically correct. Look at the internet for obvious examples. Full stops are not followed by capital letters. www.Hotmail.Com ... I dont think it works. The internet also has no space for well punctuated conversations (check you nearest chat screen and look at the variety of well structured sentences and phrases).

Anyway.. that aside I hope I have been able to clarify my present stance on punctuations ... its not that I dont like them or dont know how to use them its just that I think its not of any use. to my present state of being

On other breaking news ... there have really been a lot of events unfolding in the world around me

1)Laguna beach reruns reveal the extent to which people around me script their lives around reality tv. (quite an irony really.... I want to be Talon... no wait Jason ... no wait ....ahh what the hell who am I kidding all I have is a debit card with no money and a laptop which I cant sell... and Laguna beach to me is an imported beach on Mars.)

2)Late night tv gets more wierd as the strangest movie about women and their sexual fantasies continues. (Its highly censored but really its the thought that really counts)

3)A sleep deprived self realizes the true value of coffee, mentos and coke .... and also realizes that sweet dreams are really made of these.

4) Rats are taking over the world as two new UFO sighting confirm the fact that these are drainular rats ... and descendents of Splinter (the kung fu master of the Teenage mutant ninja turtles).

5)Dreams of the lord of the rings continue again without the xrated elvish content ... it really frustrates me when the geek in me loses the power to dream ... I mean I like being Sigmondo of the grace and all good ..... but whats a Sigmondo without a Sigmundina.....

6)The world's population of stingray dwindles to satiate my insatiable appetite for sambal sting ray .. a martian cohort of spices and more spice and some fish and lime and spice. All in all a 'one shot' cure for hangovers and a healthy stomach.

7)Lastly I realized that the true gratification obtained from the the self glorification of peoples perception of the self often leads us to inspire the self to better oneself in the order of others perceptions (NO I am not gonna start punctuating my bloggggggg).

All in all a productive couple of sleepless nights though I must say that the true essence of being wacky lies in the fact that you do things that you think are wacky.. Im lazy now so my new aura of wackiness will encompass the couch late night tv, www.break.com , blogs I read and , redbulls, ciggeesss, chips , ipod , cereal , milk , fried rice, and most of all my ceiling ..

The day when Zac went Pro

Im mice just dont seem to cut it

No its not a typo. Todays post is really about the true power of mice. I know all you Douglas Adam fanatics are going i told you so right about now.. but i needed my own proof and trust me today it was really an epiphany.

Mice truly have the one power that we men seem to lack in the world today. The one power to completely obliterate the will of the female kind, to completely destroy their peace of mind and to top it all off get away with it. Today the actions of one tiny mouse caught in a plastic bag (a consequence of its efforts to nibble on bread) was able to completely bring the world of the modern woman to a grinding halt.

It was a clear and hot night in mars and far across the ten paces from my couch a continual 26 mega episode marathon of Sex and the city was well underway and to be honest reaching its crescendo. (Oh my god for the love of everything that is alive its season six man and the final episode at that and you ask us why we watch it .. i tell you , you men have no heart). Granted its a heart we are lacking but trust me its a brain we want to really keep (peace of mind included) and for some of us its the brain we usually think with that we are truly trying to preserve.
As the big moment approaches, a faint hint of hunger daunts upon the timely smurf women who then with a sudden gesture of appreciation to the biological phenomenon of hunger, press the pause button on the remote and step to the kitchen to have their timely food bread and well bread (I think its lo cal or something). Then out of the blue our matyr of matyrs our hero of the hour, our manic in the ward of sanity pops out of the yellow plastic bag to basically take a peak into what would disturb him in his pursuit for bread.

It was almost as though the one ring had presented itself to the dark lord himself ... all hell had broken loose. Putting to shame the fastest reaction time of any human/martian (the previous one being held by a martian who was caught doing the nasty with himself in front of his lcd by his mate and reacted in a knee jerking pant putting on reaction like none other before it) the smurf was at her fullest. It was amazing for i dont think Omega or any other watch manufacturer had ever imagined that such a minute moment should actually be captured in time.

After the storm came the blizzard really.. for there was a woman who was completely and utterly broken into nothing. No sex and the city and no all men are bastards anyway, it was amazing all that centered around the carapace that was the smurf was the feeling that she had been touched by GOOOOOOOOOOOOD (atleast to me). The fountain of her youth broke its banks and to say more it was almost as though she had successfully detoxed herself through that immaculate act of purging and all this "ocularly".

What impressed me the most was the fact that after about half an hour and some more sex and the city there was no God there was no fault and more so all mice were not bastards. This takes more than a slight of hand really and remarkably the whole burden of bastardom was once again pushed back to the man kind who were now ostracised and bastardized for trying to follow up a tense moment (for women) and an increasingly hilarious moment (for men) by nuggets of self initiated humorous propaganda. Not only had Mickey (i prefer it to Stuart) gotten away with it he had done so with a clean slate and our (we men) handwritings on it. NOW that is true class ladies and gentlemen true class.

So here are a few pointers to keep note of in the future
a) acquire the power to transmorgify self into mouse.
b)After which obtain the ability to hide in plastic packet for unsuspecting female kind of genus homo sapien
c)Peak out and say hello or Bon jour or whatever you wish at the opportune moment.
d)Vanish into the oblivion and transmorgify back to self
e)Come back and watch the drama unfold and at smirk every time they goo aaaaaahh, ewwww , or bawlllllllllllllll.
f) Wait for it all to settle before it goes back to men being bastards.
g)Repeat steps a) through f)
h) lead a most satisfied life

Here are a few pointers for the next season for sex and the city if there are any
1)Get the entire cast of sex and the city and gilmore girls into the show
2)tell them to go about their daily script
3) Unleash a horde of mice controlled by the piper himself (plant would most oblige)
4)record , dont edit and sell it to the millions out there who really love reality tv and those who dont but buy it anyway cause everyone else is watching it

So as i sign off for the day i tell myself its been a good day a really good day indeed and the best part is for once sex and the city was actually entertaining ..... and now its all over .... muahhahaha when it showers gifts it pours and man am i getting wet tonight

Sar "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" Jessic "aaaaaahhhhhhhh" P "aaaaaaaahhhhh"ker on her day out in the sewers

Everything was illuminated and then came the bills

As the title suggests I did finally get down to watching the movie Everything is illuminated. Quite a good show I must add and Elijah Wood has most definitely outdone himself, though there were moments in the movie where I expected an orc or the evil eye to pop up from the Ukrainian fields. And for the record I did miss Sam, I think his thoughtful insights would have done wonders for the hidden silence in the movie.

While I sit waiting for race day to begin and Ferrari to show what it all about, I cant help but imagine why everything was not so illuminated yesterday. It was almost as though the lights up there were never on, as we embarked on a massive journey, from which non of us escaped unscathed. Football at four o clock in the evening in Mars is not exactly an aphrodisiac

for the faint hearted. An hour later we were like bedouins in the desert almost as though we had been walking through the arid desert for weeks seeking the oasis of life. Though I must admit I am now coated in a pleasant tan. Light brown but not quite caked it looks almost as good as Malibu Ken .... The tan however has come at a price ... A sleepless night an absolutely fatigued mind and a creaking and wrecked body... all in all I feel like the Lawrence of Arabia (I have the Peter O Toole nose to prove it).

Econometrics beckons and I have a shit load to study but I just cant seem to get down to doing it. I like numbers but making sausage out of numbers that I cannot stand. Something in me just shuts down at the sight of econometrics. Its almost as though I tell myself there are so many people out there who do this thing anyway why me why me? The funny thing about the course is that invariably the best answer is MAYBE. For example , Maybe it would work if the data set was right, Maybe if the variables were right and Maybe I just don't want to study this maybe shit anymore ..(frustration ... Not quite just irritation to the highest extent...die ..die ..slow slow death .. muhahahahah ... im fine I am fine)...

I need a distraction .... I see one of my housemates asleep ...ohh hes so blissfully unaware of what is going to happen to him muahahha... no! no! don't succumb to the dark side Luke, anger leads to rage, rage leads to pranks, pranks lead to the dark side nooooooooo...... Ok I am now in the light ... see everything is illuminated again... phew that was close nearly went cold there for some reason ... note to self : Pay the heating bills.....heating bills wat heating bills .... I don't pay any bills to be sane ... or do I... I look at the zanatol lying on the table .... maybe I do ... A light shines again .. see everything is illuminated ..

Take my butt off the chair and now step towards the switch that lights up the room, I push at it thrice and the light just seems so stubborn .... damn the light ill just light a candle ... cant find a candle ..ok ill switch the tv on ... ohh no Gilmore girls and the cable remote wont change channels .. I am doomed ... the sky is about to fall.... by the grace of causality a pair of batteries appear at the distance ... the remote works and its back to star sport.... everything is illuminated ..phew that was a close one .....

I walk to the basin to wash me face ... its been a hectic half hour .. I cant remember what I was doing .. all I remember is a high profile trial and the words, "Vanity ...my favorite sin"... the tap runs dry and the world seems damper than usual ... I think its raining outside .. I look out side and it is ... Everything is not illuminated infact its quite dark to say the least... I give up on the world and decide to screw everything and go back to what makes sense to me ... the television now shows race day ..... I think for now its all the illumination I need ...

Why shoemakers make good drivers

So everything bad is good for me Huh!!!

I finally got hold of the book 'Everything Bad is good for you." It took me a while cause it lay all the way in a quaint cabinet next door. That's a whole ten paces too many away for someone who seems to have lost his backbone over the past three days.

Sticking true to the very principles that I so believe in I have now transformed into a slug. Quite the metamorphosis ...eat your heart out Kafka. Anyway the Oscars are done and I have new found respect for a few things ....The emancipation proclamation, the American elections and American comedians (who are incidentally funny but not appreciated enough by Americans). Kinda gets me thinking that popular culture really is good for us and is indeed making us smarter.

I speak on behalf of myself and not the millions of others who have actually dumbed themselves through Nintendo and Mtv. Coming to think ...wow the lights are finally on up there... of it I would not be half the thing I am without modern television and other such synaptic impulses that surround us in the world today. The biggest contribution to my comic bone in recent times would most definitely be channel 5 ( a martian channel ) and the daily martian newspaper.

Funny happenings of today and the days that came before today

a) Smurf 1 says "I hate being in this phase" , I reply (deeply concerned !!), "What phase (HUHHHHHHH where did that come from..... Dam OC again)" Smurf 1 replies (deeply agitated) "You know the phase when the hair (incidentally its hair on the legs we are talking about here) is too short to shave , but too ugly to be out there ..you know the Hair." I reply (gawking at the apparent leap of logic) ,"OOh that hair why dint you say so (yeah I guessed it I was all prepared for it I knew it was all about girly sub abdominal stubble)....its called a stubble by the way." Smurf 1 agrees (most fascinated by the new found lingo in her arsenal of words), "Yeah stubble that's what I meant." I think to myself "Yep I know I just know". .... Moral of the story don't mess with wax and always brace yourself for the quantum leap from a potential OC situation to A simple life university.

b)Forest gump was edited to suit the new age that is the year 2006. Tom Hanks is now black and lives in New Orleans. He invested in Indian BPO's not apple, fought in the second Iraq war, was inherently named Osama Gump much to his ignorance, said life is like an ishuffle you never know what you are gonna get (hint: check out the hidden endorsement here) and finally marries Paris Hilton ten years from now.

c)Finally a wave of normality swept through and things in the boarding environment seem to have calmed after what seems only like one large blizzard.

d)Kilroy was here but he left cause the weather dint suit his allergies.

e)I made my first slug like sound .... it went quite like a nggggggnnnnnnnnn blurp.

f)Analyzed the fine art of smoking and realized that most people don't realize that they smoke like hags who smoke in the most mechanized manner. They lack the simple I smoke because I like the feeling not because it might just go well with my LV purse.

g)Smurf 1 says ."I hate this feeling", I again ask with concern ,"what feeling'" (this time I was ready for an OC moment I was so sure I would bet my esp skills on it), Smurf 1 replies, "This stubble feeling its soo icky." I replied (with a sense that I really wanted an OC moment cause I dint want to lose the feeling of being psychic) "WELLLLLLL THEN DONT TOUCH THEM." ... note to self: You still have esp just concentrate, its all in your head

h)The fancy of my immediate affection sent the most sarcastically pleasant message reminding me that I do love the art of sarcasm, even better when its sugar coated under the pretext of actual affection.

I)Dreamt about Chelsea losing ... wait wait wait that was not a dream... it was not it was not muhahahahah.

Anyway at the end of this really really long day of slobbing I have to say that all things bad are definitely good for me ... now I need a light and I need a red bull .... goodbye spine and good bye tomorrow cause the night is the best time of the day.

The ginger bread man ... during his outburst on the baker

Movie Mania and the average Joe

So the oscars are just around the corner and frankly in all the years that have gone past I have never really given the Oscars a second sniff. However for some reason this year the Oscars intrigues me really.

So what can we expect at the Oscars this time? Well here are a few pointers to get you ahead of the rat pack when it comes to the Oscars 2006.

1) Broke Back Mountain - For those who have not watched this epic love story here is something that might push you to your nearest cinema on a weeknight to watch this film. The title of the film is well explained really by the "action" in the movie. Two dandy cowboys who are surrounded by sheep and the wilderness prefer to indulge in themselves. So the next time someone tells you that they would only do you if there was no one else in the world and there were no sheep well they are clearly lying. Another point to note is the fact that homosexuality is universally tolerant by both mankind and animal kind. The sheep were infact relieved that they were not chosen to play the brutal sexual scenes through the movie. Trend of the year thus shows that beastiality is on its way out - (based on an SPCA report 2006).

2) Syriana - Now I love this movie not only because its the first movie to show how beards can be kept clean, but also the fact that finally the Americans have realized that they screwed up their own oil cushion. But thats not really the crux of the movie .. It was good to see that almost half of the cast of Ocean's twelve can now redeem themselves from that horrific sequel (2005). Amidst the shouting and the loud political vulgarities in the movie there was really a moving tale about how all of us really wish we had some oil to spare, I mean just a million barrels or so thats all I ask ...Is that too much?? (note to self - time to move to Iraq and diggg)

3)Munich - If one were to watch this movie closely one would clearly see that it is directed by Stephen Spielberg. Here are a few tell tale signs a)Eric bana aka zee Hulk - this shows that the dregs of sci-fi has still not distilled from his system b)The color tone of the movie is very Schindlers list meet ET so that one is a give away c) Eric bana again tries to give his I look like Tom Cruise side profile ..Another give away as its well captured by the only man who can make Tom Cruise Look shorter than he really is. d) lastly the whole fact that the phrase "B good" has been used over and over again in the movie along with many contorted formes of the same phrase like "Ill be good" and "lets hope good we can all be". All in all the movie is really not that bad except I had a shocking feeling that the message in the movie (namely V for Vendetta) was strikingly similar to a really bad Hindi movie called Rang de basanti (a movie about a guy who is 35 acting 21 hoping to take the law into his own hands and get away with it .... He doesn't muhahahah).

4)Capote - A movie about an author with a really wired tone in his voice. Goes to show that once a geek always a chance to be an Oscar nominee. Apart from that I must say for actor Philip Hoffman Kudos and a great leap from time bending movies like Along came Polly , Twister and The Big Lebowski.

The four movies posted up there are definitely worth a look. Besides deep meaning and moving art you have to realize that in essence these movies have moments of real comedy. Which gets me thinking why the great movies like Road Trip, Euro Trip, Van Wilder and the rest don't really warrant global recognition. Its real injustice in essence for these movies are true to what they intend to do they intend to make people laugh. Wouldn't it be easier to walk into movies with titles that tell you exactly what they intend to show you here are a few examples

a)Brokeback Mountain - He Broke my back in the mountains
b)Walk the line - Drugs, love and Rock and roll (old school)
c)Crash - Change is good Dawg
d)Munich - Deeper meaning of Vendetta with a few bangs
e)Cinderella man - The true trans-America
f)Underworld Evolution - Vampires in spandex 2
g)Rang de Basanti (foreign entry here) - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...bang....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
h)Final destination 3 - When Roller Coasters attack
I)Syriana - Oil thy beard
j)Jarhead - .....Well..Well... Jarhead

Im geared up for the Oscars and will be waiting nervously in the front of the television egging my best movie on.... or I could be half drunk watching Manchester United beat Wigan again ... damn these choices ..someone help me here I am at a crossroads ..... I need an angel

Oscar when he went wild