Whats with all the noise ?? I'm trying to play brain dead here

If Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert can come on air , so can I. Dare i say it I'm glad to be writing again. That's right I am no longer a guitar hero playing, bubble gum chewing , starwars action figure collecting , writers guild member.

I've been ousted from the ranks of Guild Budakai to just plain Summoner of the meaningless words of irony that seem to defy the very aspect of blogging.

In retrospect I don't think i have learnt anything much from all these days of not writing, except for the fact that it seems easier to leave the thoughts in your head rather than typing it out and realizing that you really do have to check your grammar and spellings inorder to make what you think sensible on this virtual canvas.

You don't believe me really ?? This is really what the last paragraph was like in my head .

In reterospect (like John Travolta doin his shindig in Grease ) i don think ive learnt nething from these non writeable days except for the face that its easier to leave these in the head , screw this typing thing (damn me carpel tunnel aches) , grammar and all that jazz who needs them , people read this anyway cause they have nothing better to do , let them freaking fix it in their heads (cue homer monkey playing drums in empty carapace where brain should be)

Anyhooo someone told me like a few minutes back (when i told them that i was gonna try and write a blog post) that my blog is boring so as to say because of the lack of personal content in it.

Here's a personal touch ..... if you really really read between the lines and really look into the meaning of all that i write, you would know , that all i really want to say is, " "

So the new years here and all that and for some reason everyone i seemed to meet was keen on wishing me a "Happy New Year".

Whats so happy about a new year? Why should the fact that we have a whole year to look forward to seem like such a happy thought? I'm not saying that its a sad thought but definitely its an ambivalent thought. You know like yeah!!!! new year , wait wait ... it seems just like the last one that passed me by. No i dint catch the license of that on and for all practical purposes I don't think I'm gonna be catching the number plate of this one either.

I'm not the new year Scrooge I'm just saying been there done that bought the tee shirt the bottle of moet and meet the occasional drunk friend who walks the line kinda squiggly.

The next event to immediately follow this passing of the old year into the new is this fascinations with resolutions that no one seems to keep.

Here are a few that are at best vague and at worst vague

a) My new year resolution is not to make any resolutions." - I say bravo and an encore anyone!!
that has got to be the most genuine new years resolution ever. And you know what! i think its a first .. wait wait... naaaaaaaaaaaaaa *big buzzer with a naaaahhhhhh sound*. That is so Y2K, let all get our laptops to the dance floor burn baby burn binary is so last century.

b) "My new year resolution is work hard and be diligent" - dude listen to yourself you sound like Buddha on freaking rum and tonic. Work hard and be diligent what the hell does that even mean. Here i got one for you, make your new years resolution so generic that almost everything you do could fall into that category. Here take a few i have plenty try this one "My new years resolution is to do".

I like these even more these are resolutions i know will never be fulfilled at least not this year

a)United States House of representatives resolution 2956 - withdrawal of US troops from Iraq by 1st April 2007

b) Resolution to marry either Jessica Alba or 'Angelina Jolie without Brad and the united colors of Benetton quartet'

c) Resolution to indulge in more self-deprecating humor (wait people make fun of themselves ..why??) so as to not tread on the neatly pedicured toes of the millions of meterosexuals and humans out there.

d) Write about my personal life on a public domain so that the world can have a sense of reality typography .... dude did you check out the latest season of ******.blogspot.com I think i know whats gonna happen next , I live right next door to one of the writers and man are the walls thin.

Right now that I have gotten that outta me chest, its time to take a look back into what took place in my personal life the whole of the last 365 days which has grown me as person.

a) Aging
b) Junk food
c)
d)
e)
f)
g) Corporate bingo *

* CORPORATE BINGO
Step 1 - make cut out cards our of cardboard or free A4 paper from the photocopy machine (this way its a business cost for the upliftment of employee morale)
Step 2 - create a table with 5 rows and 5 columns (use ruler if steady hand ain't so steady anymore)
Step 3 - in each box fill in a corporate catch phrase used by upper-management during meetings.
Step 4 - give said cards to fellow colleagues during meetings
Step 5 - first one to fill up lines parallel or diagonal gets to leave the meeting shouting AHHHHH monsters there are monsters in the boardroom , while brandishing his resignation letter stealing as much stationary on his way outta there.

Here is an example of what the beta version of this pen and paper application (which is not on facebook cause i do not endorse non readers of this blog playing this ..... (yes that means the fours of us are gonna be having ourselves a blast ppl)

Going Forward	Generalist	Lookback	Delivery	Roles and Responsibility
Benchmark	Progression	Summary meeting	Scope	Process flow
Quarterly review	secondment	Target	Charging	Market outlook
KPIs	Key Principles	Feedback	Budget	Year end summary
Growth Potential	industy outlook	Progree summary	At the end of the day	Client side

Yeah so you get the picture and if you don't its cause the whole image upload thing is still kinda sorta maybe new to me. Damn put image upload into list of skills to learn along with grammar and spellings and the general English language as a whole.

Here's to the writers strike , because of which we are saved from horrors such as Grey's Anatomy and Days of our lives.

Long live the Colbert nation .... that's right I'm a comedy central yuppie now deal with it

Sigmond saying Baby carrots are trying to make me gay