Of Bacteria being too slow

Does the five second rule apply? A fallen piece of chocolate remains edible if you pick it up within five second and eat it. It does apply doesn't it. Statistically speaking no one has fallen ill after such an incidence , barring the poor Chernobyl hooligans.

Beyond the five second rule I also think that irony works on a horrible sense of time. Pitching his watch exactly at the moment where things could not possibly be any weirder, irony pokes its suitably sized hat stand into the picture. Take for example the case where the best things happen only after you leave or the fact that the next song on the playlist was the one you wanted to hear all day long and the one you skipped cause you thought you would get lucky on the next one. Irony is evil in a good way, subtle and inconspicuous it acts in ways that would make elvis' weight gain less mysterious.

The past few weeks have been arid really, I feel like the third age of global warming has taken its on spin in my life leaving me high and dry in the middle of a salt lake, one which used to be the very pond in which I would fish for my excitement. However this cactus like state of being has d riven me to seek out alternative sources of self fulfillment. And here is a new take to the same old same old

I used to wake up in the morning and head straight for the one thing that would get the wrong side of the bed correct its stance, I used to hop over pick up my headphones and listen to the wake up songs playlist. The likes of which included timeless wake up songs like, the importance of being idle, Im not dumb, Linger, Enter Sandman, Overkill and so on. However lately these songs have really lost their effect as I cant seem to get my ishuffle to play the songs I want and cause I don't seem to have so much time anymore to sit and listen to an array of don't wake up songs early in the morning. So here is the new twist I take to the whole thing, I wake up from the wrong side of my bed step over to the wrong side of my room (which incidently happens to be the side closest in proximity to my housemates shower) and I stick an ikea glass to the wall and listen to his self induced shower playlist which includes great bastardized classics like , Country roads (wet country mule style), American pie (digitally noise rendered)and Paradise City (A really watered down version). Wow its a new found nicotine and cabin put together in a unique jagged little pill aurally transmitted. It works wonders and also lets me appreciate all the shower singers out there. Let the spirit never die and never for the love of God leave the bathroom for American idol... People its really not worth the shift

As the nicotine in me runs dry and as the night closes ever so closer to em I think its time for me sign off and I do promise a lot more later and hopefully a llot funnier later I think all this studying for once is getting to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... evil evil it is

Johnny Bravo and the missing hairdo

Muddled in a shade of brown

The shadows are dark while the light is dim and the levy of the world lays shouldered,
Where the lives of mundane seem to dissolve into the aura as the night gets colder.
I look around and all I see is the mess and a floor that needs cleaning,
Yet shake not another tree of thought, for the leaves share not their meaning.
Pausing a moment and taking a breath, I look onto the other side of the couch,
There lay a gospel of my lifes worth, and as I reach I slouch.
The effort can tell a thousand tales of how much it was to be borne,
Yet moved not a single hair on my soul as I stood there sitting on the throne.
Now I stride to the screen that lights, itself in primrose red,
While I stare at the daunting words, I see the words being said.
I tell myself a tale of time, where I see Sigmond fair and good,
Lying still in naked stance as I complete it as it should.
"To the poor who do not see,
The life of the rich, their reality.
May I indulge in this foreign cause,
To solve some if not all."

Development Underdevelopment and poverty, the corporate structure of success

Oh Bloody Oh Bladda

I have an exam to write tomorrow and the whole of last week was spent doing everything but preparing for it. Which is why I have rationalized to myself that there is no point in doing so now anyway.....

However after a whole week of observing the world outside I have one critical issue to get outta my system.... why are jilted men soooo dense?

There are three types of jilted men and let me spill the beans on what they wear, what they swear by and most of all what they do.

Type 1: Jilted lover 1 is the kinda guy who never really had the girl but only thought he could have her but then by the end of it the person he thought he could have would have romanced under the stone with another person he would vaguely or vividly know. As a result of this the primodial instinct to always be there for his love arises from within. Thus the Maroon 5 song 'she will be loved' seems to have distinct and deep meaning to him. SO what does the type 1 wear, well at home he wears his I have a shot look with a hopeful visage and an even more hopeful set of PJs, outside he wears a sigh of depression and a wardrobe filled with the things I want her to find out about me. Type 1 also wanders around oblivion like a warthog , sniffing and defecating everywhere he goes so that he can get a holler back from the one person he wants it from ........ hey man don't you get it ...she aint no holler back girl

Type 2: Jilted lover 2 is really Romeo with a divorce behind him. He had been there done that and for some reason the real purpose of love has not left his soul. Yeah right! Guys like type 2 are just worried that they will never again get to you know find another one .... Its called self confidence duh... get some and move one ... and for the love of God please stop wearing the clothes she used to like to see you in and for the record the stars do not hold parallel dimensions where you both are happy .... even if it did you wouldn't be there (Hawkins aint gonna beam you up Scotty)

Type 3: Jilted lover there has never seen the love of a woman , he feels as though he has but he hasn't ... and his over obsessive tone with pornography leads him to a wonderland in which he has no choice but to feel a sense of the dark lonely corner he was so bought into. Type 3 wears checked shirts which matches his checkered personality on every chat site and si-fi forum in the world.

Its not that I have much against such people I really don't. What I have a problem with is the fact that these people don't seem to want to change. Worst of all they give women a reason to always expect a kennel of puppy dogs behind them. This consequently results in the attitude that most women seem to magically summon at the opportune moments and also gives ever woman a not needed solace when they are on the wrong.

All you jilted men out there , you are really mucking up the natural order of things and for once and for the sake of all that is good in the battle of the sexes choose the right side.

Pears are the Hiltons of the fruit world

Hey yeh what's that sound .....

The other day I ate an apple made of wax and for some reason it tasted just like an apple. So it got me thinking, what's the deal with taste and why it so fickle. I concluded that taste is fickle to me cause most of the times I burn my sense of taste in an attempt to finish two packets of sour skittles in five minutes. The after effects of which are felt through out the week and I basically am then able to eat whatever comes my way.

I also realized that there are tell tale signs in restaurants which let you know how good the food is in the restaurant without even ordering a glass of water or sitting down. So here are a few to my gracious readers .... the motto of the day is its better prepared than paid for

1) Any Thai restaurant with a single toilet is one which is most obviously mediocre. A single toilet screams out a)The food is not spicy enough b)people don't eat too much in the restaurant and c)you will always have to remember to put the seat down even if you are in a hurry to get back to the absolutely placid dish you have ordered

2)Any Mc donalds with a please wait to be seated sign outside is down right wrong. This primarily because its meant to be fast food and I don pay for an ambiance at a Mc DOnalds, though it would be nice to see service and comprehensible grammar.

3)Any sushi place next to a movie hall, a hospital or a dog pound should be immediately reported. As if its not bad enough that we don't know what we are eating, now we have to second guess on the unknown .... its a crime

4)Any cafe that has a smoothie for a mascot should be avoided. They need to get their priorities right ... life is about the caffeine ppl not that brain freezes.

The principles are simple as much as I am a believer is scientology I don't think trusting your lives and stomachs on food from places so askew is a bright idea ... no not even for you Tom especially not for you.

Madam Tussauds beware ... Sigmond voule manger quelque chose