Oh Bloody Oh Bladda

I have an exam to write tomorrow and the whole of last week was spent doing everything but preparing for it. Which is why I have rationalized to myself that there is no point in doing so now anyway.....

However after a whole week of observing the world outside I have one critical issue to get outta my system.... why are jilted men soooo dense?

There are three types of jilted men and let me spill the beans on what they wear, what they swear by and most of all what they do.

Type 1: Jilted lover 1 is the kinda guy who never really had the girl but only thought he could have her but then by the end of it the person he thought he could have would have romanced under the stone with another person he would vaguely or vividly know. As a result of this the primodial instinct to always be there for his love arises from within. Thus the Maroon 5 song 'she will be loved' seems to have distinct and deep meaning to him. SO what does the type 1 wear, well at home he wears his I have a shot look with a hopeful visage and an even more hopeful set of PJs, outside he wears a sigh of depression and a wardrobe filled with the things I want her to find out about me. Type 1 also wanders around oblivion like a warthog , sniffing and defecating everywhere he goes so that he can get a holler back from the one person he wants it from ........ hey man don't you get it ...she aint no holler back girl

Type 2: Jilted lover 2 is really Romeo with a divorce behind him. He had been there done that and for some reason the real purpose of love has not left his soul. Yeah right! Guys like type 2 are just worried that they will never again get to you know find another one .... Its called self confidence duh... get some and move one ... and for the love of God please stop wearing the clothes she used to like to see you in and for the record the stars do not hold parallel dimensions where you both are happy .... even if it did you wouldn't be there (Hawkins aint gonna beam you up Scotty)

Type 3: Jilted lover there has never seen the love of a woman , he feels as though he has but he hasn't ... and his over obsessive tone with pornography leads him to a wonderland in which he has no choice but to feel a sense of the dark lonely corner he was so bought into. Type 3 wears checked shirts which matches his checkered personality on every chat site and si-fi forum in the world.

Its not that I have much against such people I really don't. What I have a problem with is the fact that these people don't seem to want to change. Worst of all they give women a reason to always expect a kennel of puppy dogs behind them. This consequently results in the attitude that most women seem to magically summon at the opportune moments and also gives ever woman a not needed solace when they are on the wrong.

All you jilted men out there , you are really mucking up the natural order of things and for once and for the sake of all that is good in the battle of the sexes choose the right side.

Pears are the Hiltons of the fruit world