Spider is the new Man!

With great power comes great responsibility and with great Responsibility comes lilac tights and light blue underwear.

Spiderman 3, Hollywood’s new and dashing expose on the lives of geeks with night jobs hit a cord in me. The revolution is here people! Sensitive men all over the world have pulled up their cotton socks, strapped on their (Oh I’m so gay but not in that way) scarves, tucked in their pink shirts and are on the big screen. Spiderman 3 is the first major Hollywood blockbuster that has asserted the following things about the NEW MAN

A) Everybody cries, be it while kicking the shit out of a super-villain, or being dumped by your bulimic girl (man) friend on the bridge. Spidey says, “Its ok to cry cause at the end of the day nobody can see you behind your mask." And if anyone does see you cry ask him for a tissue and a shoulder, if he is carrying either ... turn around and call him a fucking FAG.

B) Crotch hugging tights and business suits are the same, you can go to work in them, they ride up your yahoos all day long ... and for some reason everyone around you wearing them seem to be enjoying it. Spidey says, "Who needs a cup when you have a wedgy up the wrong way... baby there aint no note high enough, aint no falsetto toned up enough .. aint no twang sharp enough .. when the spandex has got you yeahh!!!!!!"

C) Best friends if not checked (and left alone in a dark corner) will invariablly have one or more extremely gay best friends moment. Take spidey and the new goblin, hes in lilac , he is in green, the lights go off , soo goblin lights a candle bomb, Spidey hates the ambiance and he has been acting PMSey lately , he gets pissed off throws the candle at Gobby , fucks him up completely , thanks to the huge ward of TNT at the base of the candle ... Gobby says NOOOOOOOOOO but we are friends ... Spidey leaves in a huff...... He reaches home to find out that there are 16 missed calls and 20 messages on his phone ... he doesn’t bat an eyelid ..... weeks later hes out with MAry Jane .... Gobby sees this and confront her ... there is a brief exchange of words after with Mary Jane realizes that she cannot be the on to come in between SPIDEY and GOBBY ... she splits ..leaving behind a confused spidey who while away his loneliness at a cheesy jazz club drinking and dancing to the tunes of the teletubbies ...... Then suddenly out of the blue comes ...Brazilian wax Man ..who forces Spidey into the ancient split strip bikini wax posture .... the hot melting wax and the sounds of spandex cracking ...the sound of the spider ...frying ......OHH look out there in the sky is it a bird is it a plane .. no its GOBBY....astride on his white steed.. SPidey's knight in shining armor .... the day is saved, but GOBBY is wounded ..... few is said but love is not lost and then ....................... another tear is shed .............

Damn all this time i have been writing i should have been out there shopping, getting a manicure , a pedicure ... sipping a Pinot with some low fat cheese .... Woe is me I am but a man.. just a man .... no no I don’t want the pink shirt and I don’t care if its designer .....

Asleep by Day

Sigmond by night..