Oh! Kids they grow up so fast
Arid are my posting habits but its mainly because of the fact that my computer has left me for good and that internet access in the first world seems to be harder than growing parsley on cement.
That being said I do have some interesting insight into this whole old enough to do things scenario. You can never be too old to do anything really and you can never be too young to what you have always wanted to do.
Here are a couple of scenarios where age really does seem to matter.
a) I turn 22 and walk into a really not so swanky night club to indulge in a night of heavy drinking and maybe some backseat dancing. I reach the entrance of this not so swanky place and there ahead of me lies the biggest most bufff gorilla I have ever seen in my life (trust me he could have been a national geographic special all by himself). He takes one look at me ...... and goes can I see some ID .... (what was he thinking that I the master off cool who has personified the idea of grunge into myself am not old enough to enter his bat cave).... so I think to myself im old enough and 22 is a decent age ...yeah thats right im OLD enough ..... Unfortunately Kong himself would love to disagree .... he says in his coy and undulating voice ... The entry is 23 ... (what the hell 23 how does work so when im 23 its gonna be 24 and when I am eventually 24 I would need to be less hung than I am now to get it ..... this ladies and gentlemen is what you call insecurity ..... not only does he hide his lack of something essentially male behind a drive to to beef cake himself as though the world is running out of spam ... nooooo he needs to pick on potential party hoppers who just want to have a good time in a not so swanky place..... David meet Goliath ... Goliath ... David is a lot smarter than you and as such is gonna kick your ass .... Goliath squashes David .... David stands there thinking wtf....) ... damn no wonder I don’t believe in the almighty ....
b)I turn 22 and all I want to do is set myself up for some fun ... which would include me stuffing myself with candy, and maybe catching the preview of the new Disney pixar Cars..... so I go to the one place I know I get both candy and a movie the movieeeeeeeeeee hallllllllll. So I buy the candy and the movie ticket and im walking with both my hands full and with the ticket in my mouth and ok I admit I had a few cars stickers and a balloon car ... but what the hell they were free ..... Amidst the green mile from the food counter to the movie hall I was struck by a sudden realization that the world was watching ...... thats right a hundred roving eyes judging me ... ohh look at that old guy walking with candy and balloons .... thats right don’t deny it ppl you would do that too ... but the point lies here ..... what the hell im too young to drink in a not soo swanky place but I am too old to eat candy ..... SO I cant eat candy and I cant drink ... so what am I supposed to be doing .... its the twilight zone ..... as though the only social life a 22 year old is supposed to have is a torrent of the doldrums without an escape or a fake id. For the record I like cannnnnnnnnnnnndyyyyyyyy sometimes ... (Ok Sigmond time to be man ... not boy but man ... Yeah and I also like to read Maxim and I sometimes dig porn .... that should do it shouldnt it ?????? )
So here is for all of you who think they are old enough to do everything you ever wanted ... trust me here are a few things to do before we all get too old
1)Go to Disney land (actually I think we can do that whenever we wish)
2)Ride a pony
3)Fall in love and then out of it so theres enough time to get over it (oohh yeah the first kiss thing ... it felt really good I think)
4)Listen to your first really good rock record
5)Make your biggest mistake and then not learn from it and make it again at a later date
6)Taste your first drink and rebuke at how crappy it tastes
7)Sneak into your first grown ups party and act all macho and deep
8)Lie and get away with it (its a skill thats good for life)
9)Say sorry and really mean it ........... even if you know it means that nothing is gonna be the same again
10)Try not to grow up too soon ...
And here are a few things to do before you think you are old enough to do anything
1)Go to Disney land
2)Do all the kiddy things you have always wanted to do .. and for the record they were never dolls they are action figures
3)Live like a student and party every weekend and don’t go for class the next day
4)Eat all the candy you can before you die off clogged veins
5)Enjoy the infinite joys of singledom before you biological clock kicks in
6)watch Finding nemo and the llion king ......
7)Travel before you are either too broke or too old to do so
8)Lie and this time it doesn’t matter if you get away with it cause you will be powerful enough or would not care enough in the future anyway
9)Pick up an instrument any one but ur radio
10) Stop and smell the flowers ... be it off the poison ivy
SO here I go to grow and maybe in someway still stay the same
Rip Van Sigmond
Arid are my posting habits but its mainly because of the fact that my computer has left me for good and that internet access in the first world seems to be harder than growing parsley on cement.
That being said I do have some interesting insight into this whole old enough to do things scenario. You can never be too old to do anything really and you can never be too young to what you have always wanted to do.
Here are a couple of scenarios where age really does seem to matter.
a) I turn 22 and walk into a really not so swanky night club to indulge in a night of heavy drinking and maybe some backseat dancing. I reach the entrance of this not so swanky place and there ahead of me lies the biggest most bufff gorilla I have ever seen in my life (trust me he could have been a national geographic special all by himself). He takes one look at me ...... and goes can I see some ID .... (what was he thinking that I the master off cool who has personified the idea of grunge into myself am not old enough to enter his bat cave).... so I think to myself im old enough and 22 is a decent age ...yeah thats right im OLD enough ..... Unfortunately Kong himself would love to disagree .... he says in his coy and undulating voice ... The entry is 23 ... (what the hell 23 how does work so when im 23 its gonna be 24 and when I am eventually 24 I would need to be less hung than I am now to get it ..... this ladies and gentlemen is what you call insecurity ..... not only does he hide his lack of something essentially male behind a drive to to beef cake himself as though the world is running out of spam ... nooooo he needs to pick on potential party hoppers who just want to have a good time in a not so swanky place..... David meet Goliath ... Goliath ... David is a lot smarter than you and as such is gonna kick your ass .... Goliath squashes David .... David stands there thinking wtf....) ... damn no wonder I don’t believe in the almighty ....
b)I turn 22 and all I want to do is set myself up for some fun ... which would include me stuffing myself with candy, and maybe catching the preview of the new Disney pixar Cars..... so I go to the one place I know I get both candy and a movie the movieeeeeeeeeee hallllllllll. So I buy the candy and the movie ticket and im walking with both my hands full and with the ticket in my mouth and ok I admit I had a few cars stickers and a balloon car ... but what the hell they were free ..... Amidst the green mile from the food counter to the movie hall I was struck by a sudden realization that the world was watching ...... thats right a hundred roving eyes judging me ... ohh look at that old guy walking with candy and balloons .... thats right don’t deny it ppl you would do that too ... but the point lies here ..... what the hell im too young to drink in a not soo swanky place but I am too old to eat candy ..... SO I cant eat candy and I cant drink ... so what am I supposed to be doing .... its the twilight zone ..... as though the only social life a 22 year old is supposed to have is a torrent of the doldrums without an escape or a fake id. For the record I like cannnnnnnnnnnnndyyyyyyyy sometimes ... (Ok Sigmond time to be man ... not boy but man ... Yeah and I also like to read Maxim and I sometimes dig porn .... that should do it shouldnt it ?????? )
So here is for all of you who think they are old enough to do everything you ever wanted ... trust me here are a few things to do before we all get too old
1)Go to Disney land (actually I think we can do that whenever we wish)
2)Ride a pony
3)Fall in love and then out of it so theres enough time to get over it (oohh yeah the first kiss thing ... it felt really good I think)
4)Listen to your first really good rock record
5)Make your biggest mistake and then not learn from it and make it again at a later date
6)Taste your first drink and rebuke at how crappy it tastes
7)Sneak into your first grown ups party and act all macho and deep
8)Lie and get away with it (its a skill thats good for life)
9)Say sorry and really mean it ........... even if you know it means that nothing is gonna be the same again
10)Try not to grow up too soon ...
And here are a few things to do before you think you are old enough to do anything
1)Go to Disney land
2)Do all the kiddy things you have always wanted to do .. and for the record they were never dolls they are action figures
3)Live like a student and party every weekend and don’t go for class the next day
4)Eat all the candy you can before you die off clogged veins
5)Enjoy the infinite joys of singledom before you biological clock kicks in
6)watch Finding nemo and the llion king ......
7)Travel before you are either too broke or too old to do so
8)Lie and this time it doesn’t matter if you get away with it cause you will be powerful enough or would not care enough in the future anyway
9)Pick up an instrument any one but ur radio
10) Stop and smell the flowers ... be it off the poison ivy
SO here I go to grow and maybe in someway still stay the same
Rip Van Sigmond
posted by Unknown at 8:26 PM
2 Comments:
apart from the i love cannnnnnndyyyyy (which is now STUCK and reverberating in my head).. this was funnny.
I can't believe you got barred entry. SUCKERRRR!! (that's to be added to ur list of things to do before ure old. call ppl sucker. nothing quite replaces the feeling of yelling SUCCCCKKKKKKEEERRRRRR)
Life is unfair my friend... and we never get what we want... I want to desperately grow up at the moment... in the sense that I want to drink and drive and party and all of that... But I dont want any responsibilities... and I dont want to spend my own hard earned cash... I dont want to be committed! Do you have a way to do that??? I bet not... Ive already worried myself sick and drained myself of sanity thinking of a way to do that... but life is just UNFAIR! And candy??? You really shouldnt be admitted into a swanky looking night club... :-) Enjoy your candy and disney movie!!!
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